Betrayer by ShinKa.runa

22 October 2010 , betrayed !!

Everything change , everyone change , even myself .
From a naive thinking to a very complicated individual .

Its not that i feel comfortable changing , but the environment makes me so .......
After the changes , everything seem clear enough ......

I just found out that some people is trying to back-stab me .......

Would a frenz do so ?

I duno who to trust anymore ......

So , a advice here , look carefully around ,
Some one u trust may be some one who is actually trying to sabotage u .....

Just take this into your account ,

"If someone is so good , why he have no other frenz beside u ?? "

Don't go further , or u'll get hurt more !!!

A little bit nearer .......

8 July 2010 , ....................

Each step u take bring u a little bit closer to what u desired ,
so stay firm to what u are doing now ,
the deeper u go ,
the harder for u to actually let go !!!

ShinKaruna

Trying , trying and still trying !!

But still believing miracle could happen .

Why ?

Maybe it's just my stupidity who seriously taken control over my mind !!
Hahahahahahahahahahahaha .....................




That day i am walking toward school ,
I bump into some people on the way back ,
They are walking too ,
but they are walking very slow , very slow ,
.........or i am too fast ...........



Trying to stay within the path ,
but finally i begin to shiver ,

Is this really possible ?

z

Aaaaarrrgggggggghhhhhhhhhhhhh ............

Walau eh ,
what am i thinking !!

I am Shing / ShinKaruna .
I am somebody ,
I am not normal !!!!!!!!!!!

Lost ~

30 June 2010 , Tired ......

A lot happened since my Degree started .
Tired ......

World will not be perfect for me !!

As i am still here ......

What must i do ??
To get there ......

But the most important question is actually :

" Can i actually reach there ?? "

Or it is just my stupid , childish dream .....

Tired ... Lost ... Hesitated ...

... again ...

Need a solid reason ,
I need to have a reason to " Chiong " ,
Cause i already lost myself .

I became lazy ,
I haven done anything related to the future i desired ,

Just by giving excuse that
" Degree have a lot of works !! "

Is it true ?
Or i am already lost my reason to go on .......

I really do not want to became just a mere Graphic Designer la !!!

I want something more ......

But i am now strength-less ......

不公平 ? What the hell !!

20 June 2010 , Boiled !!!

Photomanipulating Learning

" If you have the skill to express ur idea ,
Just go for it !! "

WHY i would be categorized with those who never work hard to acquired those skill ,
I have been working like hell to actually obtained what i have today .

But ,
I can't used it ......

" Because it is not fair for those who have no experience handling computer skill . "

Nice excuse !!

Would it be fair for me ?
I will had a hard time handling wet media !!

I am from science stream ,
How the hell i would noe how to use poster color like those from art stream ??

Art is about skill ,
But ,
Design is about expression !!

This actually triggered my anger !!

Fine !!

I'll try ,
not just simply try to master the wet media !

But i'll try to overpass those who are good in handling wet media !!

不知天高地厚 !! Degree life 1st Post ......

15 June 2010 , Exhausted ......

In Degree now ,
Graphic Design and Multimedia .


An un-enjoyable journey awaits me ,
yet ,
the naive-d me still believed that i could do it ..........

Afraid ,
Scared ,
Hesitated ,
I wanted to be perfect for every works ,
Because i scared that i might choose the wrong field to study .

To proof that ,
i am doing my best now .....

The consequences for being the best ,
The envies leer u received from everyone .

" 心机重 "

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha .

Let me tell u something ,
I am a perfectionist in doing creative works ,
I come here prepared ,
so what if my 心机重 ,
I do not come to Degree to fool around and get a simple cert ,
I have a dream ,
An impossible dream ,
And
I am trying to archive it ,
Do not mess with me ,
or else ......

Who know what a desperate guy can do .......
I can be the devil , the antagonist of ur life story ......

Hahahahahahahaha !!

Too Big !!

17 May 2010 , Hesitated Again ?!

Dream Too Big ?!

That time when i took a shopping trip at One Utama , i saw this .....
Suddenly , those thinking come to my mind ....... again !!

Can i really do this ?

Are my "Dream" unachievable ?

Maybe i had being giving my best for quite a long period ,
but i haven't had any "salary" for what i had done ......

Am i too childish to choose "Game Artist" as my ambition ?

Despite that I AM JUST A MERE MALAYSIAN !!

Despite that the dream is too far for me to grab on !!

Despite that no people supported my choice !!

Despite i am just a normal UTAR student ......

But i had denied it since the beginning , I do not want to end up being a normal person !!

I always comfort myself :

All success people start from zero just like u !!

A little hard work will make u different from others !!

U have talents , u have something special !!

All u need is a chance to show it to the world !!

............................................................

But human always have a fragile heart , sometime we need "support" ......

Lastly , i would again try to comfort myself again .......

" Hey , U can do it !! "

" No dream is unachievable !!"

" Nothing is impossible !!"

Haiz , i really duno how long can i still fighting for the DREAM .......

This is not a GAME !!!

18 April 2010 , Hahaha , fired up !! Chiong arh !!!!

Found a song i like very much !!

Jasmine - This is not a game !!

Lyrics :

This is my...This is my stage… This, this is my stage…

Hold me now as if you want it anyway
You are my all, Oh
Even if someone saw this feeling with me
Bring it on, even if I am hurt,
This is not a Game

I want to touch you again and feel that sensation
I am sorry but I can’t return to you anymore
My decorated body is in a daze and it seems to be broken

Do or die baby! Time to get crazy!
It shouldn’t begin from a flower, don’t you think?
I’m afraid of losing you
Do you want to be hit with ecstasy?
Come here! I can’t stop!

Hold me now as if you want it anyway
You are my all, Oh
Even if someone saw this feeling with me
Bring it on, even if I am hurt,
This is not a Game

Someone else can’t satisfy me
Make it hot until I run out of energy
Hey, you already know baby you got me all
How many times I have heard these words? Even if I understand, there are still detours
Honestly, how can I put on a jacket that doesn’t fit?
Time to shine baby, hear you calling me
Just take off your clothes!

Hold me now as if you want it anyway
You are my all, Oh
Even if someone saw this feeling with me
Bring it on, even if I am hurt,
This is not a Game

Who is that laughing?
What is disturbing you?
You can always say that
You can never hold me back
I’ll always go wherever you go
This is mine
This is my stage


So I chose to embrace you here
You are my all
The one who consumes the habit and this feeling with me
Bring it on, even if I am hurt,
This is not a Game

Just, just me and you I do Oh I do...
Do it, do it, Let’s do it
Just me and You I do Oh I do,
Do it do it, Let’s do it…

This is my…This is my stage…This, this is my stage…

This is it , Chiong !!!!
This is my stage , Dun try and ruin it !!

Don't mess with a guy with his DREAM !!

Don't test me !!

17 April 2010 , IGNITED !!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone tend to think that they are right every time ,
can't others have their own thoughts and opinions ?


Human have their own limit and boundary ...........
I think you have cross the line too over this time !!!


I am being more patient to you more than other can be , but u used my patient !!


If i have my point of views , u would said that i complained a lot .

Then , when u voice out ur thoughts , should i just blindly agree ?


I had done so many favor for u , in return , u giv me this :

" I am very sienz with u already , i duwan to talk to u adi .... "
THEN TURNED UR FACE AWAY FROM ME !!


That time also , u ask for my help to draw something for u ...
After i had finished it , u said :

" U make me no mood nia , if i know earlier , i will nvr ask u to draw for me !! "
AGAIN , U TURNED UR FACE AWAY FROM ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

O.K. !

Fine !!
I dun care anymore , u can do watever u wan !!
This is me , accept it or just ignore me if do not like my way of thinking !!


Dun always think that u are a "PRINCE" , and everyone need to obey u !!

Dun just think that only u are Prince in ur home back in hometown , everyone is also a prince or princess back in their origin home !!

Now u are living with a friend , not a servant !!

Do ur chores and keep the room clean .

I can clean the room , but we are already here for like 1 year oredi , still u nvr clean the room we shared , i am the one to do everything , is it fair ?

Imagine , u live with others ( not me ) ,
U will be scolded like f'ck d !!

I'll give u one more chance , one more limit of patient !!

This time , if u still dare to cross it , u will know what will happen to our fraternity !!

Home-d .......

7 April 2010 , nostalgic-ing .......

Home-d

That day ,
When i get into the coach which took me away from my home ,
to Petaling Jaya for to begin my University life ,
I knew that i am already not belong to my childhood's home anymore .

I am not a kid anymore , I
had become a " Dream Catcher " !
I no longer a child in protection ,
I become too selfish ,
I chosen " Dream " over family ......

Am i right , or i'll face my repentance later ......

But i refused to acknowledge that i am not a local Penang people anymore ,
I purposely left some of my importance document in my home in Penang ,
Just for excuse so that i will come back for it .......

But my family member let me go ......
They know my " Dream " are importance to me !!

I am still a selfish little human ,
I should give my love and protection to my parent and brother/sister ,
But i can't ,
Nothing i can do ,
I was too ' ambitious ' !!

Surely many people feel the same way i do !

So ,
Not to let my family down ,
I'll archive something ,
I'll show them ,
I am their son ,
Their Big Brother ,
I'll let them proud !!

I thought i lost my " USH " !?

4th April 2010 , Relieved .......

Last night at 11.00 pm until 2.00 am , i cannot draw anything , i though i cannot draw anymore , i thought i lost my " ush " !!

So , i went to Section 14-McDonald , and stayed there whole day !!

After a meal at McD , i get back my " Ush " , i can draw again !!

Maybe it is not a big deal to other , but to me , i shivered me , i felt scared , suddenly i cannot draw .

Since i get back my " Ush " , i am quite happy !!

Maybe my friend , Richard , was right , even if we wanted to " chiong " so much , sometimes designer need to rest or have a vacation .

Maybe i was too chiong , until i overused my " Ush " .

HAHA !!

April Fooled !!

1 April 2010 , ...... been fooled !!

It been quite a while since i post anything here , busy week !!


Today i have been fooled .......

Quite a simple one , but it brighten my day !!

Nice one Chee Shiang !!

Sometimes , we need some twisting in our life , it completed my day .

A little jokes will definitely cheers you up .Everyday we experienced those complicated life full with choices , maybe just a small ignition , it enuff to make you smile !!

To go further , we must have these kind of ignition !!

It burned me !!

Devoted !!

25 March 2010 , Inspired !!

I had my dinner in the stall area in Sentosa , i seen a " devoted " stall owner , he is an Indian , selling drinks .

He is so passion-ed with his work , he carried satisfied smile for every drinks he produced .

He inspired me , somehow ......

Maybe i am too " lost " in this foundation process in University .
I cannot find my " Ush " to fire me up like last semester .

But seeing that owner , it fired me up , i can do better than him !!

His works isn't an easy one , but he still manage to " smile " .

Maybe he like his work so much .

And so am i , i like Art`z as much as he does to his job !!

For my Dream !!

" Chiong arh !! "

# note : I am gonna buy a ' Tablet ' !!

It will end somehow .....

24 March 2010 , still blue ......

This firework seem beautiful !!

But eventually it will fade away , but at least it sparked elegantly before it defunct ...

We are same as this firework , we have only one chance of life to be human !

No karma , no lifes after death , no 2nd times !!

So , we must spark at least once in our life time , dun just die off without doing anything !!

In other words ,

Do watever u like ,
Be watever u want ,
Appreciate whoever u love ,
Cry when u wish to ,
Laugh as hard as u prefer ,
Learn as much as u can ,
Live to your fullness !

Before u switch off your last view in your life time ,
Smile with satisfaction ......
Then finally ,
Die Proudly !!

Hero behind hero ! ( Forgotten Hero )

23 March 2010 , feeling blue ........

Look at this !!

Haha ! i bought this last last Saturday at Sunway Pyramid !!

I just love the carrier of this sword !!

He is Zack Fair from " Final Fantasy VII : Crisis Core " , everyone know about Cloud Strife , but they do not know there was a hero behind Cloud's existence !

Cloud Strife from " FF VII : Advent Children "

Zack Fair die protecting Cloud and His " Dream & Pride "

My favorite quote from Zack ,

" If you want to be a hero , hold on to your dream and pride ! "

Here will be a video of how Zack gave his sword to Cloud !!

For his Dream to become a Hero , he died .

For my Dream to actually produce " Games " , will i be able to die for it ?

Will i be able to became a Hero ?

A tribute to Zack !!

Oyashumii ~

Not Appreciated !!

23 March 2010 , ANGRY !!

When i get back my MATH result for my mid-term today , i feel ANGRY !!

Why , i never feel that math is so stupid !! To me , i feel free when i do math , but this time , we must write down all the steps for each calculation including some stupid text !!

Sometime , we are not being appreciated by others . Maybe they are blindfolded .

" People tend to look out their own window , maybe we should try to look through other window ! "

We are being ignored , thrown aside !!

Not fair , we have our own attitude and our way of doing things ( our personality which make us different from each other !! ) .

Like i am taking Graphic Design , i love to design things , people might look at me as an academically weak person who have no other choice except for graphic design !!

Like hell i care , i dun even care !! I'll show them , I'll make them repent for the word they said !!

Something i draw for MY Beloved UTAR !!

我不是这样 !! ( I'm not like this !! )

21 March 2010 , ...... erh~ ( stomach-ache`z !! )

They are waiting ~

Human Love to wait , hoping for miracle to happen , wishes that maybe someday , their " Prince " will come and save the day !!

I do not want to be like that !!

I believe everything we gain are obtain through our own efforts , so i really , really respect those who really succeed in their life with their own efforts !!

We must believe in our own S.O.W.T !!

S ~ Strength = Our abilities !!
Appreciate it , accept it , don't waste it !!

O ~ Opportunity = Luck which
we must grabbed when it come by !!

W ~ Weakness = Overcome it ,
or at least make it your " Specialties " !!

T ~ Thread = Enemies !! Find
some to compare urself with those people , u will definitely improve !!

If u really make it , and u will look upon these pictures and said ,

" I am not like this , and I won't be like this !! "

" 我不是这样 , 我不会变成这样 !! "

Actually this blog is inspired by my frenz blogz , thank S7VeN !!

Under the Sky ~~

20 March 2010 , Struggling for Happiness !

No matter how hard we wanted to FLY , we are still under the sky , maybe human can never reach the SKY alone .......


Sometime we will hesitate , about someone , somethings , even ourselves .......

But me when i hesitated , i tell my self , look to the sky , there are still a long journey before you , before u reach the " sky " !! For sure you want to figure out what will happen next !!

" If the final destination is DEATH itself , still , will you take another step forward ? "

Maybe normal people will stop and make a "U" turn , but for me , i never doubt my choice , i am 100% sure that i am on the right track .

Dun coward , open your wings and flap it ( i mean FLAP it HARD !) . Maybe , maybe , someday you will fly with those wings !!

And you will be proud to reach the end point with your own wings !!

Review on " Product Innovation Competition"

19 March 2010 , Still Alive ..... Omg !! How hot can it be getting ..... Guys , save the earth pls !!

From my frenz blog , i see myself in a picture , with them - CYJ , Shiang , Jason doing " Dong Chi Dong Chi " pose after winning the competition sure bring back a lot of wonderful memories .

Group Photo After Winning

The Legendary " Dong Chi " Pose !!

Yay , 1st place we won , what a delight moment of my life , i actually win something using our field of expertise - Art and Design .

Yeah , we showed them , we are Graphic Design Student who manage to beat down those business streams' student ( Graphic Design is not the worst course in UTAR !!) in a marketing based competition !!

I am the one to actually joined this competition , and i pulled those frenz of mine to help me out !! Sorry for created a busy week for u all .........

Sorry ya .... haha !!

A very big thank you to all who supported us throughout the process !! I think if some thing similar pop up again , will u all participate ? With me again ? Haha , another journey to the Hell !!

" Dong Chi Dong Chi "