Lost ~

30 June 2010 , Tired ......

A lot happened since my Degree started .
Tired ......

World will not be perfect for me !!

As i am still here ......

What must i do ??
To get there ......

But the most important question is actually :

" Can i actually reach there ?? "

Or it is just my stupid , childish dream .....

Tired ... Lost ... Hesitated ...

... again ...

Need a solid reason ,
I need to have a reason to " Chiong " ,
Cause i already lost myself .

I became lazy ,
I haven done anything related to the future i desired ,

Just by giving excuse that
" Degree have a lot of works !! "

Is it true ?
Or i am already lost my reason to go on .......

I really do not want to became just a mere Graphic Designer la !!!

I want something more ......

But i am now strength-less ......

不公平 ? What the hell !!

20 June 2010 , Boiled !!!

Photomanipulating Learning

" If you have the skill to express ur idea ,
Just go for it !! "

WHY i would be categorized with those who never work hard to acquired those skill ,
I have been working like hell to actually obtained what i have today .

But ,
I can't used it ......

" Because it is not fair for those who have no experience handling computer skill . "

Nice excuse !!

Would it be fair for me ?
I will had a hard time handling wet media !!

I am from science stream ,
How the hell i would noe how to use poster color like those from art stream ??

Art is about skill ,
But ,
Design is about expression !!

This actually triggered my anger !!

Fine !!

I'll try ,
not just simply try to master the wet media !

But i'll try to overpass those who are good in handling wet media !!

不知天高地厚 !! Degree life 1st Post ......

15 June 2010 , Exhausted ......

In Degree now ,
Graphic Design and Multimedia .


An un-enjoyable journey awaits me ,
yet ,
the naive-d me still believed that i could do it ..........

Afraid ,
Scared ,
Hesitated ,
I wanted to be perfect for every works ,
Because i scared that i might choose the wrong field to study .

To proof that ,
i am doing my best now .....

The consequences for being the best ,
The envies leer u received from everyone .

" 心机重 "

Hahahahahahahahahahahahahaha .

Let me tell u something ,
I am a perfectionist in doing creative works ,
I come here prepared ,
so what if my 心机重 ,
I do not come to Degree to fool around and get a simple cert ,
I have a dream ,
An impossible dream ,
And
I am trying to archive it ,
Do not mess with me ,
or else ......

Who know what a desperate guy can do .......
I can be the devil , the antagonist of ur life story ......

Hahahahahahahaha !!

Too Big !!

17 May 2010 , Hesitated Again ?!

Dream Too Big ?!

That time when i took a shopping trip at One Utama , i saw this .....
Suddenly , those thinking come to my mind ....... again !!

Can i really do this ?

Are my "Dream" unachievable ?

Maybe i had being giving my best for quite a long period ,
but i haven't had any "salary" for what i had done ......

Am i too childish to choose "Game Artist" as my ambition ?

Despite that I AM JUST A MERE MALAYSIAN !!

Despite that the dream is too far for me to grab on !!

Despite that no people supported my choice !!

Despite i am just a normal UTAR student ......

But i had denied it since the beginning , I do not want to end up being a normal person !!

I always comfort myself :

All success people start from zero just like u !!

A little hard work will make u different from others !!

U have talents , u have something special !!

All u need is a chance to show it to the world !!

............................................................

But human always have a fragile heart , sometime we need "support" ......

Lastly , i would again try to comfort myself again .......

" Hey , U can do it !! "

" No dream is unachievable !!"

" Nothing is impossible !!"

Haiz , i really duno how long can i still fighting for the DREAM .......

This is not a GAME !!!

18 April 2010 , Hahaha , fired up !! Chiong arh !!!!

Found a song i like very much !!

Jasmine - This is not a game !!

Lyrics :

This is my...This is my stage… This, this is my stage…

Hold me now as if you want it anyway
You are my all, Oh
Even if someone saw this feeling with me
Bring it on, even if I am hurt,
This is not a Game

I want to touch you again and feel that sensation
I am sorry but I can’t return to you anymore
My decorated body is in a daze and it seems to be broken

Do or die baby! Time to get crazy!
It shouldn’t begin from a flower, don’t you think?
I’m afraid of losing you
Do you want to be hit with ecstasy?
Come here! I can’t stop!

Hold me now as if you want it anyway
You are my all, Oh
Even if someone saw this feeling with me
Bring it on, even if I am hurt,
This is not a Game

Someone else can’t satisfy me
Make it hot until I run out of energy
Hey, you already know baby you got me all
How many times I have heard these words? Even if I understand, there are still detours
Honestly, how can I put on a jacket that doesn’t fit?
Time to shine baby, hear you calling me
Just take off your clothes!

Hold me now as if you want it anyway
You are my all, Oh
Even if someone saw this feeling with me
Bring it on, even if I am hurt,
This is not a Game

Who is that laughing?
What is disturbing you?
You can always say that
You can never hold me back
I’ll always go wherever you go
This is mine
This is my stage


So I chose to embrace you here
You are my all
The one who consumes the habit and this feeling with me
Bring it on, even if I am hurt,
This is not a Game

Just, just me and you I do Oh I do...
Do it, do it, Let’s do it
Just me and You I do Oh I do,
Do it do it, Let’s do it…

This is my…This is my stage…This, this is my stage…

This is it , Chiong !!!!
This is my stage , Dun try and ruin it !!

Don't mess with a guy with his DREAM !!

Don't test me !!

17 April 2010 , IGNITED !!!!!!!!!!!!

Someone tend to think that they are right every time ,
can't others have their own thoughts and opinions ?


Human have their own limit and boundary ...........
I think you have cross the line too over this time !!!


I am being more patient to you more than other can be , but u used my patient !!


If i have my point of views , u would said that i complained a lot .

Then , when u voice out ur thoughts , should i just blindly agree ?


I had done so many favor for u , in return , u giv me this :

" I am very sienz with u already , i duwan to talk to u adi .... "
THEN TURNED UR FACE AWAY FROM ME !!


That time also , u ask for my help to draw something for u ...
After i had finished it , u said :

" U make me no mood nia , if i know earlier , i will nvr ask u to draw for me !! "
AGAIN , U TURNED UR FACE AWAY FROM ME !!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

O.K. !

Fine !!
I dun care anymore , u can do watever u wan !!
This is me , accept it or just ignore me if do not like my way of thinking !!


Dun always think that u are a "PRINCE" , and everyone need to obey u !!

Dun just think that only u are Prince in ur home back in hometown , everyone is also a prince or princess back in their origin home !!

Now u are living with a friend , not a servant !!

Do ur chores and keep the room clean .

I can clean the room , but we are already here for like 1 year oredi , still u nvr clean the room we shared , i am the one to do everything , is it fair ?

Imagine , u live with others ( not me ) ,
U will be scolded like f'ck d !!

I'll give u one more chance , one more limit of patient !!

This time , if u still dare to cross it , u will know what will happen to our fraternity !!

Home-d .......

7 April 2010 , nostalgic-ing .......

Home-d

That day ,
When i get into the coach which took me away from my home ,
to Petaling Jaya for to begin my University life ,
I knew that i am already not belong to my childhood's home anymore .

I am not a kid anymore , I
had become a " Dream Catcher " !
I no longer a child in protection ,
I become too selfish ,
I chosen " Dream " over family ......

Am i right , or i'll face my repentance later ......

But i refused to acknowledge that i am not a local Penang people anymore ,
I purposely left some of my importance document in my home in Penang ,
Just for excuse so that i will come back for it .......

But my family member let me go ......
They know my " Dream " are importance to me !!

I am still a selfish little human ,
I should give my love and protection to my parent and brother/sister ,
But i can't ,
Nothing i can do ,
I was too ' ambitious ' !!

Surely many people feel the same way i do !

So ,
Not to let my family down ,
I'll archive something ,
I'll show them ,
I am their son ,
Their Big Brother ,
I'll let them proud !!